Far From People Pleasing

It came to me recently.  As a former people pleaser for most of my life, I just wanted people to like me.  Trying to be popular or one of the “cool” people used to plague me.  What a waste of space and time – in some respects.  I have learned that I am who I am.  The experiences I have had have helped shape me into the incredible woman I am today.  Yes, I said I am an incredible woman.  How I longed to hear others say that.  I can say it myself and allow it to soak in.  I receive it well when I hear it from others – because I love myself.  I can love others fully when I have learned to love myself first.  Entering relationship with the purpose to make a new friend or acquaintance is so refreshing as compared to seeking relationship to fill the cavern within.

I saw a quote by Iyanla Vanzant that seems so appropriate.  “If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad.  People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life.  You are!”

Go out there.  Live life.  Live it well.  Love yourself.  Love others. Know that some people will love you back, some won’t.  Keep doing what you are doing.

Far From People Pleasing

Coach Trudy

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Don’t Try to Fit In When You were Born to Stand Out

born to stand outI saw this saying on the wall at my girlfriend’s place. It stopped me in my tracks. We are all uniquely created to live and breathe and have our being. God doesn’t create junk, we have all heard that one a few times. Yet, do you believe it? Dig deep. Where are you placing your worth? In the external circumstances around you? In your children’s behavior? In the disappointments in your life that come your way?

I say that you have a choice to step into all that you can be, today, right now. For what purpose are you procrastinating? To get it “perfect”? I know you want to do it, so what’s holding you back? The haters and the naysayers in life? Will they be paying your bills tomorrow? The best time to get started on the life you long to have is now. Your boat sitting at the dock will not serve you long term. Set course and sail away. You can always course correct on your journey. It’s way easier to move a boat in motion than one that is tied up at the dock, true?

You were BORN to Stand Out.

Coach Trudy

Eat Clean

One of my areas of specialty is in the area of Health & Wellness. I have been on this journey of self-discovery in regards to my weight, health, and reducing inflammation for a long time. I’ve tried fad diets, I’ve tried the organized healthy diets, and I tried the Hormone Diet. These plans would work for me for a while, then I would revert to my old ways and I would re-gain inches and pounds and gain a few more. As I get wiser, I get more in tune with my body.

Have you ever been sick and tired of being sick and tired? I was. I made a decision – find what works for yourself, Trudy, and stick with it. I still am very much involved with following health research and trying out what the health experts are saying these days. Having an attitude of being always the student serves me in every area of my life.

Recently, I earnestly followed the Elimination Diet for 6 weeks – cutting out sugars, alcohol, caffeine, dairy, corn, potatoes, tomatoes, citrus, red farmed meats, legumes, and grains. I became a big farmers’ market shopper and have eaten as close to the vine as possible.   At first I tried to do it without consuming any carbohydrates. And what I found was that training for a half-marathon, I needed sustenance. So, I added in rice & quinoa.

WOW, there is no need for coffee in the morning for me. I have more energy and have clearer thoughts than I have had in years. My inflammation is under control, I dropped nearly 20 lbs easily & effortlessly, and I feel great. Adding in certain foods one at a time gave me the self-testing ability to understand what works for my body and what doesn’t.

It really is simple. Eat clean. Eat organic as much as possible. Cut out processed foods. Go Veganish and cut down on the animal products consumed. Try it out. Oh, make sure you check with your family doctor. I am sure they support you in your journey to eat clean. And while you are at it, why not try going green in every area of your life …… hmm, I believe that will be a topic to revisit someday.

Eating Clean

Coach Trudy

This is Love

Okay, before you think this is a mushy romantic post, wait and read on. I used to be so lost that I thought I needed to win, be better at everything, look like I have it all together to impress others. Have you ever done that? I did this for a long time, and I married someone with similar values. What I have found over the years, it just drives a wedge between you and the people you want to get closer to. At some point, I looked around and said “this sucks”. Sadly, it took me several years from that point to start getting it all sorted out in my own life. Happily, both my husband and I are on a journey of being the change we want to see in our world.

I heard a song by Natalie Grant that inspired me to share this thought today. We live in a world full of hatred, weakness, despair, darkness, bondage, poverty, welfare. It’s all around us, it’s hard to miss it – unless you are so focused on your own stuff that you miss it, like I used to do. I professed that I loved others and I did good things. I look back in reflection and realize how I did things for the wrong motives. I was letting my light shine yet sometimes my motives were compromised.

Simply said from Matthew 5:14-16: “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. “

I used to get hung up on the “good deeds” thing. I did it for people to see what a great person I was. Sure, I did lip service to my Creator, yet my underlying motive was messed up.

Being a woman of faith for nearly all my life, one might wonder how I could be that messed up. My transformation came a very short time ago. The gaps between the pivotal moments included living without much intention other than getting through that next day as a wife, mom, daughter, sister, employee, friend. I lived a life as the victim of the circumstances around me. I woke up one day and made a choice not to be a victim anymore. That pivotal moment changed my life immensely and forever.

What am I saying? Do something today to help others from the motive of just loving them. Take responsibility for your choices. Be a lighthouse. Be a safe house. Let your life be living proof of what love truly is. Genuinely love others by being your authentic self for no other reason than to love them where they are at. Get over your “schtuff” and shift into the life of authentic love.

Natalie Grant’s song, “This is Love”

This is Love

Coach Trudy