This may seem like a humorous topic in light of the views I expressed in my last post called “Winning”. If you must fight, then here are some good ground rules to follow to ensure the fight stays fair. I learned these at a Klemmer & Associates seminar a couple years ago. This kind of fighting uses no physical force or contact at all. You will have the opportunity to speak and state your concerns and you will have opportunity to listen. Make sure you are both in agreement to these rules before proceeding.
Rule # 1: You must agree on code words or signals. When a fight is called, both sides must be in agreement and there are key phrases that you communicate to remind yourselves of that you are fighting by the rules. Choose a catch phrase like “fight’s on” or “fair fight” or your choice.
Rule # 2: There are two-minute rounds. The person who called the fight gets two minutes, while the other person is quiet and listens. The next two minutes the other person gets to speak and the first person listens, and so on. You actually listen during the two minutes to the other person – don’t be thinking of how you will refute what is being said. Go as many rounds as necessary until you have fully and openly communicated all that needs to be said.
Rule #3: Do not use any vulgarities. That’s right, no name calling or disrespecting allowed.
Okay, so this may seem foreign to you and it may feel awkward the first couple times you try a fair fight. I guarantee you that if you lean in and embrace this kind of fighting, your relationships will improve.